Must I do everything?

So McDonalds seems to have hit a rough patch, as of late.

Combine this with Taco Bell’s recent morning assault on people’s stomachs and it’s clear McDonalds needs to fight back.

But how?

Well, how about a breakfast menu?

I know, I know… they already have one.

But not like this!

See, I’m one of those rare creatures who doesn’t particularly care about breakfast food.

Before you start bringing out the stones, let me explain.

It’s not that I dislike it, I’m just indifferent to it.

I’m the guy for whom the lunch hour can’t come soon enough so I can get myself a Big Mac.

But I know breakfast is a big thing for a lot of you people.

So I propose the “Miami Heat” response:

McDonalds needs to combine their lunch and breakfast talents and create a super-team of delicious, processed, carbo-rific foods (I kid, I kid).

Our first contender:

1. The MacMuffin. (I should be getting paid for this)…

Who doesn’t love a Big Mac?!

It’s a classic. It’s delicious.

But it has that pesky piece of bread in the middle.


take this:


replace the buns with this:


and add this in the middle:


and you got yourself the food-equivalent of an “eye-opener”, buddy.

2. BaconBiscuitEggCheese-Burger

Quite a mouthful, right?

Well, it’s only right, considering this thing would have like a billion calories BUT you can just get a Diet Coke to go along with it.

Lets begin:


add everything inside this bun:


and you’re ready to start the day!

3. HashbrownEggCheese-Burger

Now, remember what I said earlier about not really caring about breakfast foods?

I meant it.

But hash browns get a pass. Oh boy, do they!

There are few things better in life than a golden, crispy, hot hash brown.

With that said, check this out:



replace the sausage with what’s inside this:

mcdonalds-Hamburger (1)

finally, replace the muffin with TWO of these bad-boys:


Smells like victory, to me!

4. EggBurgerBaconCheese-Burrito

I’m all about variety.

So, of course, what’s breakfast without a breakfast burrito?

I got you covered…

Take this tortilla:





add what’s inside this:



plus what’s inside this:


Startin’ the morning off right!

5. HotcakeEggCheese-Burger

Breakfast without pancakes?

Don’t worry, I got you covered here, as well.

Lets start with one of these:



add some cheeseburger:



and an egg, for good measure:


I can dig it!

So there you have it, folks.

5 delicious feasts that will have you ready to attack that chair and keyboard.

McDonalds, heed my advice!

*Photos: McDonalds